Me too.
I reached a point about 2 years ago where I found myself driving recklessly down a highway that only had one destination: depression and disillusionment with God. I had been a part of and even lead in every capacity there was in "the church." I had attended traditional, contemporary, and blended churches. I had volunteered, been paid "part-time" and "full-time" and even started a church, yet I found myself more frustrated than ever. It was in these moments that I realized how little of Jesus I really knew, followed, and embraced. My life had been lived in search of the ultimate church high, but not really for Jesus.
Because of these experiences... My heart breaks for people who have been taught (often without them even realizing it) to OVERLY depend on a church or a pastor for their spiritual vitality, and as a result, they find themselves less than fulfilled or disillusioned in their walk with Jesus. The role of any church or church leader should be to lead you toward dependency on Jesus and the Holy Spirit, which naturally means you depend less on the "church" and your pastor...
I guess the fear in doing this though is that God may begin an actual transformation in your life that would lead you to radically fall in love with Jesus, reach people for Him, and continually step into new adventures with God, which may then take you away from their sermons, buildings, and programs.
I apologize to those I've led in an institutional/religious way. It was all I knew, but not anymore. I was most likely more passionate about "my church" than I was Jesus. I can't change the broken image of Jesus that's been painted in our culture. However, I can say to you that some of those things you've maybe questioned, rejected, or called hypocritical about the church most likely really aren't worth embracing because they aren't leading you to authentically encounter Jesus.
Basically, instead of starting with Jesus and letting Him lead us to being the church, we all too often begin with church and hope to get people to Jesus. The problem is the church isn't goal, and with this approach, many people never encounter a real relationship with Jesus. It's Jesus who has a church, not the church that has a Jesus. If we'll help people authentically encounter Jesus, a biblical expression of the church will then form out of that.
I'd love to hear your story, your frustration, or your concern. Email me at joshoverflowcollective@gmail.com.
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